


Conversations At Midnight

by Meri



Category: Star Trek AOS
Genre: AOS, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-02
Updated: 2009-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-02 10:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meri/pseuds/Meri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A late night conversation between Kirk and Spock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversations At Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> **Note 1:** This is going to be a series of short conversations, mostly between Kirk and Spock, where I work out my new canon characterizations for Star Trek.   
> **Note 2:** Many thanks to [](http:) Beth H for the quick beta.

The residential corridors of the Enterprise were dimmed to approximate night. Roaming the halls was a good way to learn the ship, or so Jim Kirk told himself as he spent another sleepless night walking around, avoiding Dr. McCoy. No doubt Bones could give him something to help him sleep, but the very thought of needing to be drugged into oblivion made him look for other means of dealing with the problem.

Everything had happened too fast. He hadn't had time to process anything. And while most people wouldn't believe he thought very deeply, and perhaps they wouldn't be far wrong, he did require at least a little time. Just to get his bearings. Two weeks ago, he was standing in front of the academy review board, stalling for time while he tried to come up with an explanation for hacking the Kobayashi Maru, beyond not wanting to lose.

He _didn't_ like to lose.

And he didn't believe in the no-win scenario. As it happened, he'd gotten lucky again. Somehow and against all odds, he'd managed to rescue the ship and the world. What were the chances? Less than 4.3%. Still that was better than no-win. He'd had a chance and he'd taken it. And won.

And they'd rewarded him with a promotion and this ship.

But at what a cost? So many of his classmates were dead. So many Vulcans. The sheer amount of death and destruction was too enormous to take in at all. He'd seen the videos of the destruction of Vulcan over and over, and it still didn't seem real that one man could wreak such havoc. They'd taken aboard a councilor. Someone his crew could talk to when they needed to. After what happened, it had become standard on every space-going ship. His people, his crew would all be dealing with the outcome for a long time to come.

There should be an observation deck at the end of the corridor. At this hour, it would be empty. Jim wanted a moment by himself. If someone really needed him they could find him, but too many people were too eager to interrupt him in his quarters.

The door to the deck slid open with a slight hiss. He was halfway across the room when he saw it was already occupied.

And by Mr. Spock. Fuck.

While he wasn't one of the very last people Jim wanted to see, that was reserved for the likes of Nero and his last two step-fathers, Spock wasn't near the top of the list either. Jim was grateful that Spock had relented and if he hadn't argued that the cheating charge should be dismissed, then at least he said it was mitigated by saving the world. Big of him.

There was too much between them that defied logic or explanation. He still couldn't figure out why Spock had asked to be his first officer.

That could have been a huge mess, but instead they had become, if not friends exactly, friendly enough to work together. Since neither of their efficiency was effected, Jim supposed that it was as good as it was going to get.

Spock stood up.

"Sorry," Jim said. "I didn't realize you were here."

"I will leave."

"No. Stay. You were here first." Jim would just find another deck somewhere on another level.

"Perhaps we could share this space." Very logical that.

Jim sighed. He wanted to think, but he'd also bet that Spock wasn't inclined to idle conversation. "Sure."

He made his way over to the giant view screen. The ship was still in orbit around the Earth as the last of the repairs were made and the last of the crew assembled.

They had gone out several times, testing the ship, but their official launch wasn't for a few more days.

He settled onto the padded bench that faced the screen. Spock sat beside him, and stared out at the stars for several long minutes.

"I did not agree with the board's findings about the Kobayashi Maru."

Jim blinked. He should have guessed his reaction. "I'm not surprised. You did help my cause."

"I did not conclude that by saying you shouldn't be punished, that you would be rewarded." He'd expected Spock to sound even the slightest bit annoyed. But of course, his tone was perfectly bland.

"I wasn't expecting a commendation for original thinking, I've got to say." But he wasn't going to complain either. Hacking the test showed initiative that most of the others who had taken it hadn't showed.

"I do not think that refusing to face something is the way to understand or accept it." Spock had said that before.

And Jim though that he probably had no idea how humans thought. "It wasn't that I didn't face it. I took the test three times."

"And then cheated to --"

"Or thought of a way to change the odds so that I could finally rescue the ship." Because didn't Spock realize just how important it was to have a chance at rescuing the ship. Even a small one.

"Because you do not like to lose. What will you do when you are faced with that scenario again? It will come."

"I know it will. But like last time, I'll figure something out." He looked at Spock's profile, stark in the light reflected from the screen. "What?"

"I do not understand your casualness. As a Star Fleet captain, you will eventually face a no-win scenario."

"Maybe, maybe not. Is that why you signed on as first officer? So that you can say I told you so when I finally fail?" Jim hadn't meant for it to come out quite so harshly. Spock drove him crazy.

"No. That would not have occurred to me as it not logical."

"Then why? It's one of the things keeping me up at night. Why would you stay here?" When Jim would have bet on him resigning and going to help out on New Vulcan.

"It was the logical --"

"Oh, spare me. Don't go there, okay. Tell me the truth or not, but don't hide behind that line."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "To what are you referring."

It occurred to Jim that this Spock wasn't the one who said that all the time. This Spock, he barely knew. "Sorry. Why though?"

Spock looked at him for a moment more. "The other...me said I should stay in Star Fleet. That the friendship between us would define us both."

"Yeah, he showed me that too."

"Showed you? Surely not." It was interesting that Spock could look so horrified without ever moving a facial muscle.

"Oh yeah. Mind meld all the way." That was another thing he hadn't had time to process. He'd caught glimmers of things he didn't understand. Images of himself, older, heavier, more weighed down by life, older images of his crew, and many images of Spock that had little to do with any kind of friendship.

"Fascinating."

"He said it was the fastest way to exchange information."

"He was correct, but --"

"We didn't have a lot of time, and I was not believing what he was trying to tell me." Jim touched his head. "It was really...well intense does not even begin to cover it.

Spock was silent again, and continued to look at him.

"Do you feel like we're being pushed together for some, I don't know, some great destiny that we're supposed to have?"

"Indeed. I do not know that what happened in the other timeline will happen here. We are all changed drastically by what has happened here and now."

"On the other hand, the details have changed; my life is not the same as his, the other Jim Kirk's, nor was yours. But I'm still the captain of the Enterprise, at twenty-five, the youngest captain ever." That pleased the hell out of him.

And he knew from the meld with the other Spock that the other Kirk had been older, past thirty in fact. The other Kirk also had come up through the ranks and had more experience than he had.

"You're also still my first officer," Kirk said.

"So, you believe it was destiny?"

"I'm not sure what it is. But..." Jim sighed. "I think maybe some things will be no matter what. Are you all right?"

"I am well. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I don't know. A lot has happened in a very short time. And while we all feel the loss of Vulcan...." He trailed off. If Spock didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want to spill salt in an open wound.

"I am...emotionally compromised, and likely will be for some time. However, I am in control now, and I can do my job."

"Never doubted that for a second."

Spock slanted him a look. "Why did you accept me?"

"Lots of reasons: You're experienced. I know I'll need that. You are... Very capable. I want you at my back."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Fine. What the other Spock told me stuck with me. I think we'll work well together." Eventually. They might not be the exact same people that he'd seen in Spock's mind, but fundamentally, they were close enough.

"Indeed." Spock stood up. "I am in need of rest."

"I thought Vulcan's didn't require a lot of sleep."

"In most cases, we do not. But the last weeks have been particularly...stressful. You should rest as well."

He wasn't wrong. "I'll see you on the bridge in the morning."

Spock inclined his head and walked away. Jim turned back towards the screen as the door hissed closed.

There would be more conversations as they all got to know each other. And that was a good thing. Jim closed his eyes. He hoped he and Spock continued to make progress. Maybe they would get to that great destiny some day. It wasn't going to be this week, though.

\--finis


End file.
